


Amaurot

by Amaurotic



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Dubious Consent, Fluff and Angst, Ham - Freeform, Jam, Knifeplay, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, M/M, Marble Hornets - Freeform, My First Fanfic, Slash, Work In Progress, basicallypantscomeoff, dubcon, thesetagsaresointimidating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:04:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaurotic/pseuds/Amaurotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay loses his camera. </p><p>A Marble Hornets fanfic, because there aren't enough in this world. </p><p>Yeah there's plot. And other good things, too! ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> The story begins prior to when Jay knew of Masky's true identity. Which, in all honesty, wasn't a huge mystery. But oh well, makes for a classic oblivious!Jay. :) 
> 
> This also happens to be my first fanfic, I do hope you enjoy it! (HTML what is I don't understand :o I'll figure it out eventually though!)

Jay woke to the sharply distinct smells of copper and oak. His world was sideways, vision blurred into dark browns. Moving a little, he felt his face scratch against splintered floorboards. For a moment Jay tensed, muscles pulled taut, blinking rapidly in search of a masked figure. His eyes registered nothing in the shade of the night.

Hissing as he rolled onto his side and slowly pushed himself up, Jay's fingers brushed against a spot of warm and wet. A gash on his arm oozed steadily. His thin shirt was doing nothing to staunch the bleeding. He gathered himself up into a tighter form, wrapping his arms around his knees - a frail bubble against the cool air. The shack he was curled up in lacked window panes, and the door frame was empty and gaping. Jay could barely see the darker tips of trees against the night sky when he craned his neck.

Jay let out a shuddering breath and heaved himself up. Staggering out the doorway into the inky darkness of too familiar woods, he racked his brain for clues as to how he had ended up here. The masked man, with awful pits for eyes, was the only thing he could remember. That, a knife, and a shock of pain. Somewhere in the back of his mind Jay yearned quietly for his camera. The security it offered him was missing. He wondered if the masked man might have taken it. Then again, what purpose would there have been in doing so?

After ceaseless wandering through the blackness of the forest, Jay finally broke through the tree-line into a softly illuminated clearing. Jay found his car sitting alone in the parking lot. Opening the door, he slowly slid in.

There was a little black rectangle sitting in his passenger seat. Jay eyed it contemplatively, grabbed it, and stuck it into his pocket.

**OOO**

Jay sat on the edge of his bed, arm hastily bandaged with strips of white cloth. He had shoved the tape into his hotel room's TV and now watched the small screen anxiously. The first few seconds were distorted blurs and static noise. Then, Jay saw his own feet, moving quickly through the woods.

He heard his own breathing, heavy and uneven. The crunch of the brown leaves and the wave of the camera was an all-too-familiar sight. He ran for a long time (from what he was running from Jay could not remember), but suddenly the footage took a strange turn. The camera took a nose dive and hit the ground, camera man falling somewhere out of sight with a thud. Jay heard himself grunt, then the desperate scrabbling of a struggle, while the camera remained still on the ground.

" _No!_ " Jay heard himself shout. " _Get off! Get away from me you monst-_ "

Then there was silence. Abrupt, horrifying silence as the camera strained to refocus itself. And suddenly the camera was floating through the air, picked up by an unfamiliar hand, and aimed at Jay's newly unconscious body. Face down in the dirt, there was a fresh cut on Jay's arm, and it was just beginning to bleed. The camera rotated, and was met by the unfeeling black sockets of a pale white mask. Jay clenched his teeth and curled his fingers into the bed sheets.

White noise cut away from the mask. The next few minutes of the tape were unclear. The tape kept cutting back and forth between the masked visage and Jay lying still in the shack. A hand appeared from the shadows and began to pull at his hair. Petting it. Running gloved fingers through it over and over... The mask flashed again and again, the distortion closing in, and Jay could feel his heart pounding in his chest. A final message snapped across the screen before the footage blacked out.

ϚΘӎΞ

ЪДϾЌ

Jay sat in silence, in the dark, and ran his fingers through his hair. Chest heaving, Jay slumped against his pillows and dreamed about darkness.


	2. Pretty Pettings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay sets out to find his stolen camera and finds something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys have liked it so far! Mild warning for this chapter, just coz Jay gets groped some. As per usual.

Jay sat cross legged in his bed, typing away at his computer. He hazily uploaded his entry, every tap of a letter sending tiny sparks of pain through his arm. The make-shift bandage he had created the previous night had fallen off, leaving his angry red wound to curl and twist with each flex and pull of muscle.

Mouth dry, Jay closed his laptop and got up, grabbing the bottle of water sitting on his desk. Sipping carefully, he eyed the little orange capsule of pills that never seemed to leave him be.

After searching his room earlier for clues, he had found only the bottle of pills, a sweatshirt, and an empty camera case. Watching the tape had confirmed that the masked man had been the one to steal his camera. The mysterious man also left a message - to "come back".

 _Of course I'm going to go back,_ thought Jay in frustration. _They probably know that I will, too. He's probably waiting for me right now._ But this was the only way Jay was able to progress. To push further until there wasn't any place left to go. Besides, he needed that camera. Not having it made him feel weak, more vulnerable than usual. Jay made a point to try and give Tim a call before heading out again. He figured he should have at least some partially sane human contact every once in a while.

Jay called three times before he gave up, each time reaching the solemn tones of Tim's voicemail. Jay ran his fingers nervously through his hair and froze, memories of the tape flashing through his mind. That careless touch, persistent and demanding, pulling at his hair. Jay thought he could remember what it felt like, just faintly...

Before he knew it, Jay was driving back to the woods, nothing with him but his sweatshirt and the tape the masked man had so kindly given him. Parking and getting out, he examined the late afternoon sky with regret. It would probably be getting dark soon. Clutching the tape, Jay set off to try and find the shack he had woken up in.

**OOO**

The sky was a dark, milky blue and the sun was falling, drawing a shade of darkness over the world as it went. The cold was beginning to nip at Jay's neck again, and he was suddenly thankful for having brought his sweatshirt. Jay's breath faintly clouded the air before him as he stepped through the trees. Feet sore from walking, Jay considered himself lost. But then again, he always felt lost.

Jay was subject to a dark, trembling void - one that had made his chest its home. This gap was eating away at Jay - slowly, but persistently. It had been there long before his camera had gone missing. Now, as Jay thought to himself, it had perhaps existed before all of this even started. All of it...

A twig cracked.

A wave of heat rushed through Jay's system as he spun around, chest thudding. In the dimming light, he could distinguish no forms among the shadows of the trees.

Another crack.

Jay sprinted. Caring not for which direction he chose, he kept running. Wind whipped at Jay's skin, arm groaning in protest. He ran and ran until he saw a shape in the distance through the trees. As he drew closer, he recognized it.

Remarkably, he had found his way back to the lion's den; a poor little shack slumped among the trees, gray chips of paint flaking off the oak paneling. Jay ran through the gaping door frame, and stuck himself in a corner.

**OOO**

Jay couldn't tell how many minutes he spent wedged in the dark corner of the decrepit shed. It was slightly damp - Jay could feel the moisture through his sweatshirt. Jay shivered and hugged himself tighter. The moon glowed hazily through the open window frames. No sounds had been made.

Jay was alone with his void. They shivered in sync.

Jay put a hand against the wall and pushed himself up, fingernails scraping against the wood. He made his way to one of the windows, and peered out, back to the door frame. It was unbearable solitude, and uncomfortable silence. The void began to tear viciously, and all the fear Jay had felt before began to well up and overflow. Hot tears dripped down Jay's face, and he didn't mind. He stood and shuddered and gave himself to the beast that constantly broke him down.

A creak of wet floorboards, and suddenly a force threw Jay and pinned him up against the wall.

"H-wah?" Jay coughed, face pressed up against the damp, splintered walls. Another body pressed into him, squeezing the breath out of his lungs. Jay yelped as his injured arm was forced behind his back by a gloved hand. Warm fear rejoined Jay as his tears faded into the walls of the shed.

Something cold and hard pressed itself to Jay's neck. Out of the corner of his eye, Jay could see the unmistakable black pits of the masked man's eyes. Jay let out a spasm of nervous breath, momentarily clouding the air between them. Masky slid the knife upwards, careful not to break skin, and prodded Jay's jaw.

 _I don't want to die here,_ thought Jay. No not here, not with this monster. Jay gritted his teeth as the masked man pushed him, flat against the damp wood. Then carefully - procedurally - Masky pressed his face to Jay's neck.

Jay's breath caught in his throat as he felt the cool plastic lips brush against the side of his throat - felt the man with the mask swallow. Masky drew a thin red line to Jay's chin, and Jay struggled weakly - soft, mewling noises escaping his throat.

"Let go of me..." Jay tried, breath short, as the mask made its runs up and down his neck. "Please let me go -"

The masked man let his grip on Jay's injured arm be replaced by the weight of his body. Jay writhed, his void impatient. Masky hummed through the mask as he drew his hand up, pressing his body further into the smaller man's.

Jay froze when he felt the hand sift through his hair. He felt Masky barely scrape his scalp - fingertips running through his hair evenly, methodically. Jay found that he could not deny the pettings. He breathed softly against the damp oak, the black hole inside him trembling subtly. Jay thought he heard the masked man snicker; a little growl escaping from his plaster lips.

Jay's head was spinning. He was hot and cold and awful and lovely and he didn't know what to do. The hand felt so nice running through his hair. Still nuzzling the crook of Jay's neck, Masky let the knife drop to the ground with a dull clink. He moved ever so slightly, allowing Jay room enough to breath. Jay fidgeted.

 _This could be my chance,_ Jay thought dazedly. _I could run for it._

Yet the man had somehow lulled Jay into a shivering mess. Jay whimpered - to his heated embarrassment - as Masky slid a gloved hand just under the hem of his shirt. There his thumb rubbed gentle circles along Jay's hip.

"Nnn...no..." Jay whispered weakly. He managed to wriggle an arm free and grasp the hand on his hip, making a hint of an effort to pry it off. Masky ignored the faint struggle and stuck just a few fingers beneath the waistband of Jay's jeans. Before Jay could react, there was a knocking sound from behind them both.

Jay was sure could feel Masky's blood freeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe. Shed-smut...


	3. Lens Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay meets a second mysterious figure. He gets his camera back, but...  
> Then he calls dear Timothy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well goodness as I reread all of these I'm starting to feel super nostalgic! Hehe I really do hope you guys continue to read and enjoy this little fic.

In a flash Masky's weight left Jay, crouching in a second to snatch up the knife he had dropped earlier. Jay flipped himself over, stomach feeling the cool rush of the night, and stared at the figure in the doorway with wide eyes.

In the faint light Jay could see a faded orange sweatshirt pulled over a peculiar ski-mask. Crude red cutouts marked the figure's eyes and mouth. Then, as Jay looked closer, he could see something swinging ever so slightly in Hoody's hand - his camera.

"Hey -" started Jay, stepping towards the door with flustered movements. Masky pushed Jay back and marched up to the hooded man, waving the knife threateningly before his face. Hoody merely shrugged, and gave a suggestive nod towards Jay, who, realizing what he had almost let happen, blushed furiously.

"I-I...Just give me back my camera! That's the only reason I came here." Jay crossed his arms and dug his fingers into his sleeves.

Masky gave Hoody a shove and grabbed the camera out of his hands. He ejected a tape which had apparently been inside, and Jay leaned forward curiously. Masky slipped the tape into his jacket pocket and handed the camera to Jay, who accepted it with skepticism.

"Thanks." Jay mumbled. He became aware of the silence then. A suffocating blanket of quiet had slowly crept up on them, and now he could feel it. Hoody and Masky stood on opposite sides of the doorframe, eyes probably registering every movement Jay made. The void began to gnaw on Jay's insides, and a nervous laugh escaped his lips.

Masky hesitated a moment, turning his head to look at Hoody once more. He then motioned towards the inky forest outside, and Jay swallowed, stepping forth on the creaky wood floorboards. Just as he was about to step outside, he remembered something and stopped. Jay dug around in his pocket for the tape he had found in his car. Withdrawing it, he looked at Masky and held up the tape.

"You can have this back." Jay placed the tape in Masky's gloved palm, and the eyeless pits regarded it blankly. With one last glance at the two figures, Jay dashed off into the frigid night.

**OOO**

It was early morning by the time Jay had reached his room and, exhausted beyond belief, fell face first onto his bed. He took out his camera and turned it on, relaxing at the gentle clip open of the lenses. Jay rubbed at his camera momentarily - something seemed to be blurring the picture. The smudge didn't fade. Jay flipped his camera over, cursing when he saw a familiar symbol etched into his camera lens; a crudely crossed out circle.

Jay tossed his camera angrily against the wall, and buried his face into his pillows.

_I just can't win._

Jay struggled against the growing hole in his heart, fists balled into his covers.

_They get me every time...and I can't do a thing to stop them._

The void fluctuated angrily. Jay's brows knitted together as he forced himself to sit up. He glanced momentarily at the swelling wound on his shoulder - it was probably infected. He had probably needed stitches, but it was too late for that now. Jay relinquished his hold on his bed sheets.

Masky. He was the one who had given Jay this wound. That had been intentional...right? Jay's head spun as he remembered the events that took place inside the shack. Perhaps it had been an accident though - a slip of the blade - as Jay resisted. He passed a finger over the thin cut across his jaw and exhaled. What happened last night had most definitely not been an accident.

Jay supposed most of it was his fault. He let it happen. He was too weak to resist. Maybe a part of Jay actually wanted to be touched - but then again it could all just be the fault of the growing void.

Loneliness.

Jay picked up his phone and called Tim. He huddled into his sheets, listening to the dial tones ring one by one.

"Hey."

Jay shot straight up, not expecting the slightly gruff voice to answer. Jay gathered up his disrupted sheets and stuttered as he searched for words.

"Uh-uhm...h-hey!"

Jay cursed at himself for being so flustered. Yet it helped to hear another human voice - a familiar one at that.

"You okay?" Tim continued, sounding somewhat concerned. "I saw you tried to call me yesterday. I was...probably busy or something."

"N-no I'm fine -" Jay paused for a second, feeling the empty flutter of the cavity in his chest. "A-actually...do you think you could come over? I uh- I need to talk to you about something." Jay questioned his own words, immediately hating how helpless he sounded.

"If you need me to. Just send me directions, I guess."

With that Tim hung up and Jay sent the directions to the hotel.

Then suddenly, Jay realized that he never had any real intention of sharing what happened last night. In fact, to tell Tim the events that had almost passed between him and the masked man would be unbearable. Jay groaned and buried his face in his hands. What was he hoping for? Tim would be expecting a serious conversation - a new clue to fit into the twisted puzzle.

Jay spent the next half an hour pacing around his room, thinking of a story he could tell in place of the truth. He knotted his fingers into his hair, wondering if Tim would notice he was lying.

Then there was a knock at the door.

Jay felt a rush of heat course through his body and settle into a chill. He quickly fixed his bed covers and ordered his few possessions on the desk. Wobbling over to the door, Jay slowly turned the handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this chapter wasn't overly intriguing. But have no fear! There is more to come!


	4. Rough Edges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim comes to see Jay, and, inevitably, tension occurs. Evil thoughts also happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just think the Jay/Tim dynamic is wonderful. I love it when they go off adventuring together and lead themselves to certain doom.

Jay opened the door and winced at what he saw.

Tim was a mess. His hair, disheveled and unkempt, fell over his forehead unevenly. He had a large bruise marking the right side of his face, and dark circles ringed his eyes. Clothes torn in several places, his face held a look of astonishment.

"Jesus...Jay what happened to you?"

Jay raised an eyebrow. _He_ looked bad? He couldn't see himself looking any worse than Tim. Jay eyed the burlier man, black jacket recalling subtle memories. Tim stepped forward and brushed the hair from his eyes, motioning towards Jay's wounded limb.

"Your arm - there's no way that can feel good."

Jay cringed as he looked at it now - a jagged red line carving its way up the side of his right arm. Tim squinted, eyes on Jay's face now. He held up a hand, making Jay suddenly aware of how close they were to each other, and brushed a finger across Jay's jaw. Jay held his breath, eyes widening.

"This seems...familiar." Tim's tone dropped suddenly, eyes darkening. "Jay?"

Jay's mind stuttered and stopped. Tim stared, his eyes instantly reminding Jay of the endless dark pits of the mask - _Tim's_ mask. Of course. God how could he have been so blind! It made sense - the missed phone calls, that irrevocable scent of oak and copper that seemed to cling to Tim's jacket. Trembling now, Jay backed away slowly.

"T-tim? No - you didn't...you aren't -"

_You aren't the one wearing the mask...right?_

_You aren't...no you couldn't be..._

Yet as much as Jay tried to push the accusation aside, fear still seeped into his mind. The fact that Tim could have been the one to do those things to him - as someone he had trusted - the thought was too cold. Jay's eyes began to widen.

Tim paled as he watched Jay take a quivering step back.

"You...hurt me?"

The words stung.

"No, Jay - fuck, I don't know! I can't remember anything clearly anymore!" Tim's eyes flashed wildly, desperately searching for an answer of his own. A nervous hand raked through his hair. He turned towards the camera-man, confusion turning into anger. "I mean look at me! I probably look just as bad as you. You know what it's like. Time just - passes! We don't even know what happens! I...I don't even feel like myself anymore!"

Tim was shaking now, and Jay felt a twinge of remorse. Perhaps he had been wrong.

"S-sorry, Tim. It's just that I've uh - I've been through a lot lately. It just doesn't really make sense that you would...you know..."

"What?" Tim answered, voice rising slightly. "What did I do? Tell me Jay, because obviously I don't even know myself anymore!"

Jay flinched, the darkness in Tim's eyes churning at the same pulse as the hole in chest. He ached, chest heaving.

"If you were the one wearing that mask," started Jay unevenly. "Then yeah, you did this to me." Jay could see the bout of pain flash across Tim's face. "Y-you also..." Jay stopped, hesitant, debating whether or not he should confess.

A strange emotion flickered past Tim's eyes, and he took a step forward. Jay's insides fluttered.

"I did do something else, didn't I?" Tim's voice seemed to grow hoarser as he stepped in towards the quivering figure. "I can remember...something...what did I do?"

Jay backed up again, bending away from the darkness in Tim's eyes, feeling the backs of his knees hit the bed. Jay's heart was racing, knowing if he didn't stop this - if he didn't make a move - the events of the night before could repeat themselves. With knees flush to the side of the bed, Jay stretched out his arms and flexed his fingers.

"T-tim uh...Tim come on look at what you're doing!"

Tim's eyes flickered, a hand moving towards Jay's stomach.

"This isn't you Tim! Th-this isn't you!"

Tim's hand froze centimeters from Jay's chest. The dark look in his eyes washed away and was replaced by an agonizing expression Jay could not find words for. Withdrawing his hand, Tim quickly stepped back, clutching his shirt as though it were prone to falling apart.

"-sorry. Jay I'm so sorry. I didn't know - I didn't mean to -" Tim backed up to the still open door, body brushing against the whitewashed walls. He cast his eyes downwards with hurt remorse. "D-damnit..."

Jay had fallen back on his bed, and opened his mouth. No words came out.

"...just...call me if you really need help. Otherwise..." Tim's face displayed an utterly shattered look. Just as he was about to turn away, Jay jolted upright on the bed. Something in Jay's mind was telling him not to let Tim go, despite the risks. Something in his chest was begging Tim to stay.

"Uh, T-tim!" Blurted Jay.

Tim turned around, casting sad eyes upon Jay, who drank them in slowly.

"I...uh...just be careful I guess."

A knowing look fluttered onto Tim's face, and he nodded slowly. He exited the room without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! So much anxiety~!


	5. Infiltrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay contemplates things, then goes on an adventure. He takes a nap, until he is rudely awakened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch yourselves here! This chapter is worthy of an explicit warning. Don't read if ya don't like. Otherwise, read-on! :P

And with that, the door closed, leaving Jay to his solitude.

Jay clutched at his shirt, uncertainty rising like cloudy flood waters. He didn't know how to deal with all of this. Were Masky and Tim truly the same person? Of course, yes - physically at least, they were identical. But it seemed as though Masky was an entirely different person mentally. He had his own thoughts, his own wills.

Jay knew that the darkness that existed behind Tim's eyes was Masky.

But what was even more complicated was the purpose behind Masky's actions. There's no way the masked man could actually be fond of Jay in such a way - no. There was something else, Jay was sure of it. Tim himself was another beast, another mystery - perhaps Tim indeed liked Jay. But no - that was all too much and all too strange to think about now.

This was not a time to think about relationships.

Alex was still out there.

Brian, Jessica, and Amy too.

How could he have just forgotten about them? Tim and Jay were only working together to find their lost mutual friends - and no more. They had been forced together for this purpose and this purpose only.

Jay curled up in his bed, a sudden chill infiltrating the cavity in his chest.

 _Tomorrow,_ he thought.

_Tomorrow I'll go back to Rosswood and settle...settle something._

Jay drifted into a heavy sleep.

He dreamed of crossed-out circles.

**OOO**

Jay was standing in the field just outside Rosswood park. His eyes were tuned into the bright morning sky, swallowing the sluggish motions of the marshmallow clouds. The sun was almost too bright, almost too real for Jay.

He gripped a brand-new camera in his right hand, silver and sparkling in the sun's glow.

He stretched out his arm, glad that his wound had healed, though leaving a gnarly scar.

He was fine. Jay was fine. He felt much, much better.

Although he wasn't quite sure why, Jay had a feeling his sudden burst of energy had something to do with Tim. Always with Tim. Always with Masky. The mysterious figures who, though occupying the same physical body, seemed to be two different entities within Jay's head. Tim was his friend - yes, he could call him that now. And Masky...Masky was dangerous. Elusive and dangerous and enchanting.

Like a fairy. An awful, black fairy.

Jay snorted out loud and continued on his way, poking through the beginnings of underbrush and saplings. He held his new camera out with confidence - anxious, nervous, but familiar confidence - and watched the image through the screen.

He felt the draw of the forest - Jay never knew which way he was going - and let it lead him deeper. The woods were always unfamiliar, as if they were constantly changing. The bright, warm light scraping through the tips of the trees was comforting. Jay was always afraid, but there were moments like these when he could actually relax a little. Relax, and even think.

Think about what the hell he was doing.

What was he doing at Rosswood today? Jay felt his eyebrows furrow, as he searched himself for an answer. What was he hoping to find? He hadn't really found any prevalent clues regarding the operator or Alex, so what sort of suicidal mission was Jay going on? Jay let his mind simmer for a while in the late morning heat.

He was suddenly aware of a certain emotion stirring its way into his void.

The angry black hole in his chest - the vacuum of emotions that Jay could never seem to fill - was being infected by something.

Infiltrated.

Jay stopped when he noticed a shape in the distance. Drawing nearer, he realized that he had found his way to some time of massive structure. Windowless and held up by only the frame in most places, Jay seemed to have stumbled upon a place quite similar to the abandoned hospital he and Tim had gone to visit so much earlier. It sprawled through the trees, a sad off-white in comparison to the fluffy clouds floating slowly by above.

Shrugging, Jay walked though the slumping entrance, watching his camera record every step he made. Chunks of pavement and shards of glass littered the ground around his feet. Stepping haphazardly about the debris, Jay stepped into what looked to be an open courtyard. He stood in the overgrown rectangle of grass and breathed in the light.

The sun bore down upon the unkempt spot, and Jay stared at the motionless blades of grass. Shielding his eyes against the sun, he looked up, and for a while, did absolutely nothing. It was after a few minutes of this that Jay was overcome by a wave of exhaustion. _The heat, probably._ The sun had curled up inside of him and decided to take a nap, making him feel heavy.

Jay figured he could use a nap too. _Just for a few moments,_ he thought.

Jay walked out of the sun to a nearby wall, whitewashed and tired from lack of upkeep, and leaned against it. It was warm and rough. Slowly, Jay slid to the ground, setting his camera beside him. His drifting eyes captured the minute movements of the blades of grass. Yawning and letting his eyes close, Jay crossed his arms and legs. He would only be out for a few minutes.

**OOO**

Jay was drawn out of his trance-like phase when he felt something warm touch his neck. The wall was still warm against his back, and Jay could sense that the sun was still out through his eyelids. Eyes still closed, Jay scrabbled clumsily at whatever might have been threatening to constrict his airway. Jay's hands stilled when they grasped the forms wrapped around his neck. A pair of gloved hands, smooth and familiar, tightened their grip instantly.

Jay's eyes snapped open, unsurprised to see the masked visage staring back at him.

Masky was dressed the same as he always was - black jacket, mask and all. The sun's rays lit the edges of his messy hair from behind.

Jay wheezed and grabbed the masked man's hands, attempting to speak but managing only a cough. Masky patiently dragged Jay up the wall by the throat, strength absurd, causing Jay to let out a choked whine. Chips of paint flaked off beneath Jay's shirt - the heat was unbearable.

Masky slid one of his knees between Jay's legs as he pinned him up against the wall - Jay felt his heart stutter. He panted, the lack of oxygen sending a myriad of mixed signals to his tired brain.

Jay's pulse battered erratically as he watched Masky tilt his head to the side. Was he here to kill him? Torture him? Pleasure him? His pulse quickened. _Why aren't I fighting?_

Jay felt the pressure on his neck lift slightly as Masky began to lean forward. He could feel the warmth of Masky's leg between his own, felt the heat through the black leather gloves. Jay hazily wondered if this was all just a dream. The masked man tilted his face further, and all Jay could do was keep staring into those bottomless black pits. Those false eyes lulled his name, drawing him in - like the forest, like his void. They ate away at him.

Something stirred in Jay's chest again. Perhaps this was that emotion Jay had been feeling earlier - the feeling that had successfully penetrated the dark, empty depths of his soul; desire. The need to feel Masky against him - violent, calculating, and ruthless. Jay trembled shamefully.

Masky closed in, and Jay disintegrated in his firm grip. He was too hot and weak to fight back. It was uncomfortable, but he didn't dare move - the gloved hands were still braced around his neck, just light enough so that he could keep breathing.

Then without warning, Masky pressed his mask to Jay's mouth. Jay felt the cool contact raise hairs on the back of his neck, and squirmed slightly at the odd sensation. Dropping one of his hands from Jay's neck, Masky traced a line down Jay's side, fingers feeling the faint ridges of his ribs. Jay's cheeks, already pink from the sun, flushed red as he let out a soft moan against the mask. Masky hummed bemusedly, keeping one hand firmly pressed against Jay's throat while the other moved lazily across his chest.

Breaking the kiss, Masky paused his fondling to grip Jay by the hips and wrench him upwards. Jay hissed as he was brought perpendicular to Masky, the fronts of their pants brushing roughly. With Jay suspended, twitching uncomfortably and propped up by the wall against his back, the larger man grinded up against him. Jay gasped, splaying his hands out against the wall behind him.

Jay heard a snicker and Masky cocked his head.

_He thinks it's weird that I'm not struggling, doesn't he? B-but I can't -_

Jay's split-second thoughts were cut off by a hand that suddenly slipped its way beneath his shirt. He whimpered loudly as Masky found a spot just beside his hip bone pressed lightly at it. The masked man's other hand found its way back to Jay's neck, sliding over collar bones and brushing against his jaw. Masky stared at Jay through his eyeless pits, studying his expressions intently. Jay could feel the dark holes burning into him, could feel the desire swelling in his chest. Jay felt himself getting hard, and furrowed his brows anxiously.

Masky rutted ruthlessly against Jay's front, enjoying the small cries being ripped periodically from the smaller man's throat. Jay's fingers dug into the flaking paint, trying his hardest not to move his hips with each even rock. He was deteriorating at an alarming rate - but he already knew resistance was not an option. Jay's mind was a hot, sloppy mess. He was utterly helpless under Masky's uncompromising gaze - but he couldn't deny that it felt at least a little good.

Masky slowed his movements and gazed down at the man before him. Chest heaving, cheeks flushed, and eyes clouded with a lovely mixture of fear and desire - Masky had successfully rendered Jay's consistency to that of a puddle. Masky smirked behind his mask, sliding the hand beneath Jay's shirt up to brush over hardened nipples. He watched the muscles of Jay's abdomen tense, felt the man's legs tighten around him considerably. Jay's eyes were pleading.

Oh how he wanted to make those lips beg.

Jay arched his back to the masked man's touches, pants and whines being drawn from his lips. His eyes widened as he saw Masky's free hand dip beneath his waistband. _Oh god._ Jay squeezed his eyes shut and squirmed, feeling his pants being quickly unbuttoned. He exhaled, feeling nothing for the moment but his painfully hard erection straining against the fabric of his boxers. _Now I'm just waiting for it..._ groaned Jay internally.

A few agonizing seconds passed by. Jay opened his eyes in confusion, and trembled when he met the unwavering gaze of the mask once more. He blushed when he glanced down, his dick pushing eagerly up at his boxers. He looked at Masky, blush deepening as the mask turned to evaluate the predicament below him. Then, meeting Jay's eyes once more, Masky lowered a hand and pressed his thumb lightly to the bulge.

" _Ah!_ " One of Jay's hands flew up to cover his mouth. _Oh god oh god oh god -_

Masky, as though frustrated, wrenched the hand away. He shifted inwards, closing the distance between them, and palmed at Jay's erection.

"Hnn - no!" Jay writhed, eyes wide. _N-no, please just do it nice!_ Jay cycled through his thoughts like a turbine. He needed this so badly.

Masky, almost pleased with Jay's indecency, snagged the edge of Jay's boxers and lifted them up and over. Jay whimpered as he was revealed, stiff and aching. Masky shifted so he could support more of Jay's weight, and closed more of the distance between them. His larger body shuddered at the sight of the smaller one beneath him. Jay's shirt pushed was up over his abdomen, revealing his lithe form. His dick stood up bravely, beading a pearly liquid, little drops already threatening to spatter on his stomach.

Masky suddenly grasped at the zipper to his jacket and pulled it down, revealing nothing but his evenly muscled chest. He saw Jay's expression and grinned silently, peeling off the rest of his jacket and throwing it aside. It was getting too hot anyways.

Jay's breathing turned erratic when Masky took off his jacket. It shouldn't have, really, but it did.

"Y-y-you...ahhhmm!" Jay began to talk but was abruptly cut off when Masky decided to grip his cock in an unkind grip.

Pumping in even, gloved strokes, Masky treated Jay kindly enough. He watched the man spasm, eyes never leaving his own, desperate and wide. He trailed his free hand over Jay's front, earning a good few whimpers of pleasure, and brushed a finger on Jay's bottom lip.

Jay's heart clenched with each merciless stroke Masky gave. The glove was smooth and warm, but not forgiving. The small sparks of pain eventually gave way to waves of rolling pleasure. Jay inadvertently tightened the grip of his legs around Masky's midsection, and, not knowing where else to put them, placed his hands on Masky's shoulders. Masky's finger moved casually across his lip, and slid slyly into his mouth. It tasted a lot like leather and nothing. Masky slid it in and out, just barely, and Jay mewled around the digit.

Jay's hands dug into Masky's shoulders as he was delivered a rougher series of strokes. Withdrawing his finger, Masky drew Jay closer, until their faces remained just inches apart.

"T-ti-" Masky cut off Jay's whimperings with a snarl.

"... Masky?" Jay tried, breathing hotly against the mask's surface.

Masky growled deeply in response and buried his face in the crook of Jay's neck, lifting the mask just enough so that he could slip his tongue out and lick a rough line up to the other man's jaw. He kept his hand working at an even pace, feeling Jay's hips cant against his own. The poor man wouldn't last much longer, he guessed.

Jay felt his head spinning. He was so close now. He held onto Masky with a bruising grip, crying out with each clever work of the gloved hand. He let the larger man trail kisses down to his collar bone, let him grip the side of his body and bring him closer. Jay's back was scorching against the wall, he felt as though he was on fire. Every cell in his body seemed to scream in scorched pleasure.

A few more pumps and Jay was gone, muscles tense for a moment as he spurted clean into the air.

"AHhh!" Jay hugged the other man close as he convulsed, a few final pumps ending the tidal wave of bliss. " M-masky..."

Masky withdrew, mask positioned correctly, and observed his work. Jay slumped to the ground with the bigger man's guidance, white stickiness decorating his trembling stomach. Masky crouched to reach Jay's level and gazed into his eyes, satisfied. He reached out and sifted a gloved hand carefully through Jay's soft brown hair, reveling in the way Jay simply melted. Watching as the younger man's eyes drifted shut, Masky gathered up his coat and waited for a moment.

When Jay's breathing reached an even rate, Masky bent to grab the camera which had been laying on the ground the entire time. It looked brand-new. Smiling, Masky wrapped it up in his jacket and walked out into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. That was a solid chapter.


	6. Amaurotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay tries to fix things. He calls Tim. They have a sleepover. A wild Plot appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmature warning for this chapter too.....not super explicit though. :) Jus' a lil.

It had been months since Jay had last seen Masky.

Jay last laid eyes on the mask in the scorching heat of the abandoned building. Amongst the vague shards of his memory, Jay vividly recalled the sun lighting up the other man's brawny silhouette from behind. A flaring, blazing assault. Jay was robbed not only of his humility, but of his camera too.

He had enjoyed it, admittedly. That was what disturbed him the most.

Jay also got the message.

He didn't buy another camera.

The rest of that fiery day ebbed slowly into the cool night, and was spent trudging back through Rosswood. Jay was exhausted by the time he reached his hotel room. His mind and body were drained. Dull. Gray. That was all the world was to him. A sullen mess, he remained in his room for a long time.

An unclear amount of time.

The void which had taken residence within his chest consumed him. Jay didn't even think he moved an inch - until he received a phone call.

It shook him awake. Jay's fingertips had trembled as they brushed against the cool plastic buttons.

He heard Tim's voice, but not the words he spoke. The sound itself was enough to break Jay. The sweet, caring voice of his only friend cracked him and pulled him apart, until he was sobbing into the receiver. Tim's concerned voice echoed through the phone as Jay cried.

Jay was convinced that he was done with it all.

Done with filming.

Done with being stalked.

Done with the mask.

Jay didn't hear the knock at his door - he was still shaking with the phone gripped tight in his fingers. Tim let himself in. He was soaked, shirt clinging to his skin from the rain outside. Jay wasn't really sure of what happened next. He was somewhat unaware of the feeling of Tim's waterlogged clothes against his own. Not quite sure if he really truly felt the rain seep into him. Slightly aware of his face pressed to Tim's chest - even more alert to the warm sound of his beating heart.

Jay thinks he was carried to the car. So pathetic. He could remember the feeling of Tim's arms around him. Even in the passenger seat, he remembered catching Tim throwing occasional glances at him, eyes dark with worry.

Jay was sure that he didn't deserve this sort of attention. He wasn't worth all of Tim's troubles.

At least, that was what Jay was thinking now. With his head under Tim's covers, in his soft bed - it smelled like tobacco and something sweet - Jay pretended to sleep. He couldn't dream. His dreams were haunted. Empty, hollow, and infected by images of the mask. Memories of shameful, burning, pleasure.

Jay could not risk closing his eyes.

He wondered if Tim knew that he was awake. He could hear his friend peeling off his wet clothes.  _Don't think about it like that, Jay_. Don't think about it at all. Jay could hear only the occasional rustling of cloth and his own, erratic breath. The bed shifted with Tim's sudden weight. As if with uncertainty, Tim hesitated before lifting the covers.

Tim thought for a moment if this was alright. They were both clothed, right?  _I mean, more or less_.  _I have some pants on._

Tim slid beneath the covers and stared at the back of Jay's head. He shifted uncomfortably.

_Yeah, nope, this is weird. Sharing your bed with your friend is weird._

Tim was about to get back out when he caught Jay shuddering in the corner of his eye.

_Oh._

Tim stilled, wondering if he should move a little closer.

_Oh god, would he mind? Is he asleep, would he wake up? He seems cold. I kind of want to - hmmm. This is probably the wrong time..._

Yet Tim inched himself closer. He had such awful self-control. He knew that this was probably the last thing Jay wanted right now but - he just couldn't help himself. Something inside him...something  _wanted_  this so badly...

Carefully, gently, he slid one hand into Jay's hair.  _So soft_ , he thought. How he had missed this feeling. How he had missed this human contact. To touch something so tangible...

Tim slid his other arm forward, gently pushing up the hem of Jay's night shirt. He tapped his fingers lightly on the warm skin there. His actions were made in a detached sort of way. Like they were being guided.

 _Oh_ , thought Tim absently.  _I guess he's going to wake up now_.

He already was. Jay's breath was caught in his throat like a fly in thick honey.

Did Tim know he was awake? Was this his revenge for not receiving a thank you? He didn't realize he was being so ungrateful! What if - what if Masky came back? Could that happen? Could the mask just appear and could Tim just...shift?

Jay's mental state was deteriorating under Tim's haphazard touches.

He stiffened considerably when Tim pressed his lips to the side of his neck. Tim breathed on Jay's shoulder, and whispered, "Sorry...".

 _Sorry? Sorry for what?_  wondered Jay.

"I'm so...uh..." Tim struggled with his words, mouth moving aimlessly against the soft flesh of Jay's shoulder.

"Just let me..."

He trailed off. Tim didn't really know what he was saying. He just felt his own hand slip into his pants and - it was really just and accident - tighten his grip on Jay's hair. This wasn't him.

He wasn't doing it on purpose.

It was the monster inside of him.

How could he stop it -

Jay gasped aloud as his head was pulled backwards. He could feel Tim's closeness, feel the warmth of his bare chest through his own thin shirt. His eyes were wide - helpless - as Tim wound his fingers deeper into his hair, hot puffs of breath against his back making him shudder uncontrollably.

_What was he doing?! What was Tim doing?_

Or was it Masky now?

Jay didn't know. He was partly scared and partly weak beneath the larger man's touches. What could Jay do to fight back? Did he even want to at this point? Tim's fingers felt so undeniably good scraping gently at his scalp. The slight, uneven pulls acted like a sedative for Jay. He craned his neck in an effort to steal a glance over his shoulder.

Jay's eyes were immediately met by Tim's darker ones. They churned with desire; Jay could almost see black, smoky clouds swirling into themselves. They struck him as familiar - they all too similarly resembled the irrevocably dark pits of the mask. The void in Jay's chest thumped violently. Well, it might have been his heart. He wasn't sure. Heat colored Jay's cheeks when he saw what Tim was doing - but the hand in the pajama pants did not stop its motions. Tim gave an odd little smile. He never recalled seeing such a smile on his friend's face. Jay felt his stomach do a somersault and he snapped his eyes forwards.

"Sorry," breathed Tim, voice low. His free hand continued to stroke Jay's sandy brown locks. "You can do it too...if you want..."

Jay swallowed.  _W-what was Tim asking him?...How could he - did he really want him to -_

Tim let out a breathy moan.

Sparks of arousal coursed through Jay's body.  _D-damn...I - I don't know what to do..._

Jay was certainly feeling the effects of Tim's touches. Should he just try it? - no! It would totally be weird to touch himself in front of Tim! No, no he won't -

Tim's hand tugged at Jay's hair, encouraging him. "Don't make me have help you,  _Jay_."

Tim drew out Jay's name like sweet toffee.

Jay froze, and before he had the chance to say a single word, he found Tim's hand guiding his own down to the growing problem in his pants. Jay flinched at the sudden contact, and tried to pull his hand away. Tim sighed, keeping Jay's wrist in a firm grip.

"Come on Jay, don't be stubborn."

Jay made a weak noise as Tim smoothed his hand down the front of his pants. Their hands slipped in and Tim guided the first movements there. Jay blushed furiously, desperately wanting Tim to leave him alone, to withdraw and let him cool off by himself. Yet when Tim did remove his hand, Jay couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

 _Ah, what's wrong with me?_  Jay asked himself, breath escaping his throat in helpless rasps as he worked himself.  _Hnn...I can hear Tim b-breathing..._

"H-hold on Jay, I'm almost -" Tim stammered a short warning before pressing his body into Jay's. His hand moved rapidly - he was close to the edge. Tim  _(Tim?)_  dug his hand into Jay's hair, earning an eager yelp from the other man, and nuzzled the warm flesh of his neck. Jay mumbled something softly and Tim smiled against his skin, breathing in his sweetly innocent scent. It was delicate. Jay was delicate. He was so very breakable...

Tim gasped as he came into his own hand, still shivering through the lingering ripples of pleasure. Seeing that Jay had not yet finished, he bit down gently on the smaller man's neck and tightened his grip in the soft brown hair. A burning sigh left Jay's mouth. Tim grinned and pulled at Jay's head, coaxing him to turn around. He was getting caught up in it, this darkness. Tim thought it felt awfully good though.

 _Just a little one..._  thought Tim as he pulled Jay's pleasure-shocked face towards his own. Just a brush of the lips, and he could feel Jay tense against him.  _Mmh, just a bit more._

Jay's hips twitched excitedly as he neared his end. Tim's tongue lapped at his bottom lip. The corners of the camera man's mouth curled up despite himself. This was nice. Even if just for a moment, Jay could forget it all and just feel the warm arms of ecstasy wrap around him. Tim's mouth disconnected from his own to allow for some room as Jay gasped in pleasure at his release.

For a while, they breathed. Jay's face was flushed, and he removed his sticky hand from his pants.

The darkness had retreated from Tim's being, and he felt...hollow. Good, in his post-orgasmic haze...but empty somehow.

"I'm gonna go wash off." He said suddenly, leaving the comfort of the covers.

Jay's eyes watched the bigger man's figure disappear behind the bathroom door. For the moment he was content, drifting in a blissfully ignorant haze. But in the back of his mind, something was nagging him. There was still something off...something wrong about all of this...but Jay couldn't be bothered to think about it now. Sighing lightly, he sank beneath the covers fingering a lock of his hair.

**OOO**

A focused gaze watched as the larger figure left the room, leaving the smaller alone to shift slightly in the bed. Boots scuffed the wet asphalt as the onlooker squatted in the parking lot, bare meters from the window. He withdrew a neatly folded piece of paper from the pocket of his orange sweatshirt, and uncapped a black marker. After scribbling for a while, he recapped the marker and examined his drawing with impassive, red cut-outs. He placed the paper on the wet ground carefully, and walked away from the building where Tim and Jay would be spending the night.

They didn't see him.

They never saw him.

They couldn't see him.

Unless he wanted them to.

It occurred to the hooded man that he would have to tell his partner about this later. He was sure the other would take interest in an event such as this one. Not that it was all that satisfactory, but Hoody enjoyed relaying the occasional tidbit of information.

Things were progressing nicely at this point, he decided.

It wouldn't be long now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've liked this so far, why not leave a comment or a kudos? That'd be pretty rad.
> 
> I'm sure it'd help Jay cool off...


	7. Fly, Fleance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim leaves for a bit. Jay wakes up, tries to find him but...finds someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get not-so-charming.

Tim sat on the edge of the hotel bed with his head in his hands.

The crisp, clean covers hugging the mattress were disturbed only on one side, where Jay was sleeping soundly.

_Why did I do it?_

Tim's heart raced in panicked embarrassment.

How could he have done what he did to his one and only friend? The only friend that he trusted, that he understood?

Last night, Tim reflected, he had remorselessly and relentlessly taken advantage of Jay. Tim had touched the other man when he was hurt and weak - and Tim knew Jay hadn't wanted it. But he had not stopped - Tim swallowed the dryness in his throat - until he himself was satisfied.

_I am disgusting._

Tim knew that he could not control the monster that was growing inside him. The black, faceless tar which so hungrily clawed at his insides would not let him go. He was victim to the beast that was now trying to take Jay - though Tim wanted so desperately to stop it.

Jay snored ever-so-softly, and stirred around in the covers. Tim glanced at him, eyes bleary from lack of sleep. Despite the residual paleness, Jay looked a lot better. Last time Tim saw him, Jay had been a mess. Bruises and cuts covered had covered his body, and the ashy-paleness of his skin had almost made Tim sick.

Alone.

Tim had left Jay alone to fend for himself, against the same demons that plagued his own life.

Tim had wanted to protect Jay, and for some reason thought they could survive together.

But he blew it. He had taken what little trust they had and smashed it to pieces.

Damnit.

_What if the mask comes back while I'm with him?_

Tim thought suddenly, horror growing in his gut.

_What if I did something even worse?!_

Tim tugged at his own hair, damp from the shower he had just taken. He was dangerous to Jay. And he valued his life more than his own. For some reason, when he was around the innocent man, the evil inside him got more vicious. It wanted Jay, to say the least. Tim couldn't deny that he wanted him a little, too. But it wasn't good - he was no good - he had to leave. Run. Hide.

Again.

It would be the same as before, but he'd go far, far away from Jay. Then they would be safe, finally. Lonely, perhaps...but safe.

Jay tossed again and Tim stood up with sudden urgency. He'd have to leave before Jay woke up. He couldn't bear to see the face Jay would make when he remembered the events of last night.

_And the other times too...when I was wearing the mask..._

He had settled it. Without another thought Tim was out the door and into the parking lot, passing by a piece of paper that clung wetly to the rain-soaked ground. He got into his car, and drove away.

He didn't care to think of where he was going.

**OOO**

When Jay awoke, he was very aware of the silence.

The room was empty.

He could have sworn he had seen Tim's hunched-over form on the edge of the bed minutes ago. Or had he been dreaming?

Rolling slowly out of the covers, Jay shook the sleepy numbness out of his limbs. He shortly savored the feeling of soft carpet beneath his toes. Tim hadn't slept last night, apparently. The sheets were mostly untouched. He mustn't have gotten back into bed after...after that happened...

"Tim?" Jay called out tentatively, holding onto the sliver of hope that Tim might still be in the hotel room. He swung open the bathroom door, fruitlessly scanning the bare tiles. He was alone again.  _Why?_

Jay felt unwarranted tears well up and sting at his eyes. He walked back to the bed and sat down, breath becoming rushed as he felt warmth slide in little trickles down his cheeks.

Oh.

Oh, and they had been so close, too.

Close enough to happiness for Jay, anyways. To realness.

Jay wondered suddenly if Tim's disappearance had anything to do with last night. Jay shook with worry. It didn't matter. The Operator was still a threat, as was Hoody. Tim might be allied to them through Masky, but alone and mortal? Was he really not in danger? They were both so vulnerable...shit. Jay had to try to find Tim before something bad happened. He couldn't stand losing another friend - no. He would not be able to bear losing Tim. He was the only person he could trust these days, understand, confide in, love.

He had to try. He had to leave now.

So he did. Wiping his eyes distractedly on his arm, he rushed to his car, but not before noticing the soggy piece of paper on the ground. Jay walked over despite himself, and peeled it off the wet asphalt. What he saw sent chills down his spine, not because of what it said, but because of how similar it looked to the other drawings. The ones that Alex used to draw.

It was hardly decipherable. The black marker had seeped out into page like spiders stretching their legs, but portrayed what seemed to be two poorly drawn faces. Jay could make out the writing. It said:

щҤᴉͼђ ӨЙϵ

ԃѺ Ӵӫᴗ

ᶅᴓṾḝ ?

Jay paused for a moment, truthfully confused about the question the paper posed him. He knew, of course, that the note was meant for him but - what "ones" was it referring to? And love?... Tim, perhaps? Jay felt a blush creep up on him. Maybe, but then who else? It was too difficult to tell from the doodle. He folded it quickly and stuck it into his pocket. Regaining a sense of his mission, he headed towards his car. It was getting late and the gray skies were darkening, so if he didn't hurry he -

Something moved in the corner of Jay's eye. His head snapped to attention as he squinted through the misty air. Beyond the parking lot of the hotel, amongst a few trees, Jay could have sworn he saw a figure move. Maybe not. He was probably just paranoid. Or...perhaps...Tim?

Oh. Jay's heart leapt at the prospect. Maybe it was! He had to check, just to make sure.

Jay dashed out through the wet grass and reached a thin tree line that seemed to vanish into the haze. He put his hand up against a tree, felt the cool, rough bark against his palm, and leaned forwards into the veil of fog.

"Tim?" Jay asked the trees quietly. As if they had heard him, they creaked in response.

Walking slowly forward, guided in each of his steps by an ominously familiar force, Jay spotted the dark blur of a person in the distance.

"Oh - Tim!" Jay walked faster, approaching the figure with an arm outstretched. "Tim what are you -"

But no, it was not Tim. Jay was suddenly just a few feet behind an orange sweatshirt, hood pulled up, facing away, with arms down calmly at their sides. Jay knew what this was. He had fallen for it again. His void throbbed, cold fear surging through his body. His brain was screeching warnings, telling him to run, but he could not move - Jay was glued to the spot, moist grass licking at his shoelaces. Jay was caught now. Caught in the web of a very thirsty spider.

Hoody turned around. Jay cringed away from the sight of the red markings, the crude grimace making his insides twinge. Hoody's fingers twitched slightly. He was the prey. Jay was the prey once again.

Jay swallowed thickly, legs motionless.

With a hint of a swagger, Hoody closed the distance between himself and Jay. He looked down on the shorter man for a moment, as though in satisfaction. Jay saw his chest shake slightly. He was laughing. The bastard.

"Who." Jay uttered a single word, surprised by the clarity it came out with. He tried for more words. "Who are you?"

The question was honest enough. Jay himself did not know the answer to it, and he wanted to know, though he supposed it was hopeless asking a man who never so much as spoken an audible word.

Hoody stretched slightly backwards, shoulders dipping into the mist behind him. He stuck out a hand and waggled his finger in front of Jay's face. Taunting. Jay had the sudden urge to bite it. The same hand then - in a blink of Jay's eye - slid into Jay's pocket and withdrew the piece of paper.

The note? Jay thought.

Hoody handled the paper recognition.

He was the artist, then.

"You suck at drawing," Jay said pointedly, unsure of where his confidence came from. "I have no idea who you're trying to describe."

Making conversation with Hoody was stupid, Jay thought. Better than eerie silence though.

Hoody seemed to acknowledge Jay's comment for a moment, then he tossed the note aside. Shaking his orange-sheathed head, as though to mock the rain which so sullied his drawing, the hooded man took out a new piece of paper. With the same black marker he had used before, he started to work on a new drawing. Jay looked on, quivering in the damp air. Hoody paused after a while, evaluating the thick, dark lines. He handed Jay the paper after he confirmed the work complete.

Oh, well. It was all clear now - he two faces had been replicated. And Jay had been right - one was Tim, depicted with characteristic sideburns and all. The other though, with gaping black eyes and delicate lips - was Masky. Masky. The scorching terror who had assaulted Jay and took from him his only confidence, the one that had caused him to feel so much pain - the one that had made him truly amaurotic.

In love? In love with the beast?! Jay nearly spat out laughing.

Hoody was displeased with Jay's reaction. He snatched the paper away and grabbed Jay's jaw in his hand. His face got close, and tempted the gap. Fear exploded in Jay's chest, and he cursed at his immaturity.

Hoody tested Jay. With fingertips he clenched and earned a grunt from Jay. He huffed haughtily, watching Jay's eyes expand through his own lines of red.

Poor little puppy.

Hoody decided that he would teach little Jay a lesson. So impolite. He needed to be punished.

Jay did not see the arm retract and release. He only felt the sharp, jarring impact that rocked his skull and sent him to the ground with a thud. His head was suddenly sideways in the grass. He inhaled sharply as Hoody bent down and grabbed his collar. Crouching, his attacker lifted him up by the front of his shirt and lifted just slightly. Jay coughed miserably, their faces inches apart, and squeezed his eyes shut.

Not this. Not this again. Jay didn't think he would be able to take another round of this.

Hoody wrenched Jay upwards so that he tottered onto his feet. Hoody stepped back, watching the man wobble, and grinned behind his guise.

What do you want Jay? What's wrong? Afraid of a little pain?

Hoody placed a hand on Jay's chest, watched as the poor man lifted his head slowly and opened his sad, sad eyes.  _  
_

You've felt pain like this before, haven't you?

You've liked it, haven't you?

Jay was pushed backwards, air sucked into his lungs as he collided with the solid ground. His ears rang and his head sung with flashes of pain. Why. Why. Where was Tim. Where? Where?

Jay was silent, horrified as Hoody bent down over him, face and body drawing inexplicably close. He could feel the uncomfortable crunch of their ribs as Hoody pressed into him, yet could not find the strength to resist as Hoody restrained his arms above his head. Jay found it hard pinpoint his feelings, or lack thereof. He felt a lot of fear, and a bit of anger. Perhaps some betrayal.

But he was giving up. He could feel it in his muscles, in his brain, in every fiber of his being.

Instead of fighting back, Jay's body relaxed into the pain echoing through his head and chest.

Tim. Where was Tim?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya darlings liked. Do stuff. Y'know. If you liked it.


	8. Pins and Needles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight happens.

Tim's whereabouts did not seem to bother Hoody, though. With morbid amusement, the proxy moved his free hand and pressed his thumb delicately to the side of the smaller man's throat. It convulsed slightly as Jay swallowed. Hoody liked seeing Jay's pupils dilate. He enjoyed reading the fear and helplessness there. Is this how his partner felt, doing these things to this boy?

Hoody had felt jealous the first time he had walked in on them in the shed. It looked like fun. It had made him want a plaything, too. It wasn't fair that "Masky" was the only one with such a pet. Wasn't fair that he had all the fun. Hoody grew incredibly covetous of Masky's little camera man. So envious, in fact, that he decided to try to claim Jay as his own. And he was. And it was working. Oh, was it working...

Hoody was making Jay horribly nervous. He could not tell if he was just playing, or had real intentions to hurt (or maim, or kill). It was difficult to tell. With Masky, at least, it was clear that there wasn't much intent to hurt as there was to tease. But the way Hoody handled Jay was more careless, less controlled. Jay's head still sang out terribly from the punch and his collision with the ground. And on a side note, Jay realized almost with dismay that he could not get lost in the endless black pits of the mask of his attacker. Instead, the glaring red cutouts seared brutally into the backs of Jay's eyes, and he could do nothing to shut them out.

Jay began to shake, throat growing tired as Hoody continued to poke at it. The force of Hoody's body on his own and the harsh grip on his wrists was becoming unbearable. It felt like his arms were falling asleep. He opened his mouth, willing himself to shout - scream, plead - anything to get his assailant off of him. Jay was scared. Oh, and he wanted Tim. He wanted to get away from the cold, harsh fingers of his hooded attacker.

Smiling down at his prey, Hoody shifted his weight just slightly. Jay's arms were kept locked in position above his head. Hoody could do anything he pleased - yes anything - and oh, it made his inhuman heart race. He watched the dilated pupils of the man beneath him tremble as he slid a cool hand beneath his shirt. Touching, brushing, lightly over the chest. Pausing to relish in the way the nipples hardened so cutely beneath his touch. What a good boy. What a good pet. He would have to reward him, somehow...

Hoody bent low, bringing his face down to nuzzle the sweet flesh of Jay's exposed neck. Jay jerked, arms protesting just slightly, but fell back into his motionless respite. Maybe it wasn't so bad to just let Hoody do what he wanted, Jay thought. Perhaps, if he behaved, he would live through this ordeal. Maybe. It had worked with Masky _(Tim)_ hadn't it? He was still alive wasn't he? Jay decided not to fight. He did not struggle when Hoody pushed his shirt up and over his head, laying it on the grass just beside his head.

How beautiful, Hoody thought, as he lost himself in the fine lines of Jay's slight form. Is this what his partner had been keeping from him? He couldn't blame him for wanting it all to himself. Just look at how those huge brown eyes plead, begging, so vulnerable! Stomach trembling slightly...mouth pressed into a fine line...Hoody suddenly had the overpowering urge to make his prey his own - to take him fully. Yes...he would make those fair lips beg for it. Then he would give it to him, slowly.

Jay twitched nervously, dewdrops melting into his now exposed skin. Hoody's hand was still splayed out over his chest, stealing away his warmth, making him shiver. Hoody seemed to be deep in thought, and this made Jay's nerves tense considerably. After a moment, the bigger man shuddered back to life. He smoothed his hand down the soft skin of Jay's side, pushing tentatively at the flesh around his slender hips. Jay could not help but bend upwards, just slightly, into the touch. Everything was so quiet now. Silent, even as little needles of water - pinpricks of mist - continued to fall steadily upon the world around him. Quiet, as though the birds could not sing, strangled by a force they could not perceive. Hoody's demeanor had somehow changed. He was moving casually, but with purpose. A calm, disturbing urgency. Jay noticed that the hooded man's hand was beginning to leave hot trails up and down his body - he twisted just slightly. The touches affected him in an odd, unfamiliar way.

It was different, Jay thought, a slight blush spreading onto his cheeks.

_Different than what?_

The warm cloth of Hoody's guise brushed against his chest. Jay watched with shocked stillness as Hoody held his arms down with one hand, continued to touch him with the other, and ran his mouth up towards his collar bone. Jay hiccupped quietly when Hoody exhaled hotly, tongue pressing against the cloth of his mask to heat the juncture of his neck.

So cute. See? It wasn't so bad. He even liked it! Hoody reveled in the soft pink that was beginning to tint the pale skin of Jay's face. He wanted to move lower...but for that, he'd have to free up both his hands. Contemplating his strategy for a moment, Hoody shifted to straddle Jay's slender hips, and slowly released his grip on the trembling man's arms. Though Jay seemed to recognize that his limbs were free, he did not try to resist. Instead, he moved his arms to his sides, and looked up plaintively.

 _Good_...Hoody breathed pleasantly, lowering his head to kiss at Jay's navel. His insides simply squirmed with glee when Jay moved a hand to clutch at the back of his sweatshirt. He gripped Jay's hips in response, biting lightly at the sweet flesh on the other side of his cloth visage. Curling his fingers through Jay's belt loops, Hoody tugged the blushing man's pants down just below the hem of his boxers.

Jay's breathing was shallow. His mind was almost empty.

His mind revisited his first encounter with Masky. The smell of oak and copper. The damp walls of the shed. The encounter that had spun into a situation much like this one. Methodical, tempting, and so undeniably pleasurable. The ease Jay felt when he slipped into the abysmal pits of the mask...the darkness which surrounded the proxy.

Jay thought of Tim. Tim, and the worry in his voice. The absolute care in his touches. The pain, dark and oozing, pulsing infectiously in his eyes. Tim, his friend. His best friend, his partner, the only human he could trust and talk to and be close to without the horrible fear of dragging someone new into this raging mess, a tangled web of poison and thorns and endless voids which so enraptured Jay's aching heart and crushed it into dust.

_Which one do you love?_

Through a distanced gaze Jay watched as Hoody lowered his head towards his crotch, inching his jeans down slowly. His hand gripped the orange sweatshirt and clenched hard when Hoody's mouth brushed against the fabric of his boxers. He didn't want it, but he did. He wanted this, but not with him. Jay fought the urge to whimper when his assailant wrenched his jeans down to his knees roughly, and replaced his hands on the sides of his hips. The grip was bruising. Inconsiderate. Impatient. Jay closed his eyes and tried to breath normally, tried to imagine that Masky was doing this - _Masky?_ \- that Tim was doing this.

Then his boxers slipped lower. Hoody raised his head to look at Jay as his thumbs dipped beneath the fabric. Lower, dangerously stretching the thin line of Jay's sanity. The red cutouts seared into Jay's eyes - wide, brown, and glassy - limbs limp as he looked on, helpless. His boxers were almost off and Hoody grinned behind his fake cutouts as he prepared to take his prey with sweet, unbridled ferocity. And a single tear rolled down the side of Jay's cheek (he didn't even feel it) not because of fear or anger or sadness but because he knew in his heart that he was utterly helpless. So weak. So pathetic. And he was letting this happen because he was too broken to fight. To shattered to even attempt to push the weight of Hoody's body off his own -

\- which was suddenly not there anymore.

Hoody had been thrown off of his body in a second by a blur of darkness. Jay sat up, surprise spinning his gut like a windmill. He stared at the figure now wrestling with Hoody, a tangle of orange and black - oh, and a touch of white - flailing among the dead leaves. Jay hastily pulled his pants up, some mixture of relief flooding his senses as he regained his composure. He backed up a little until he felt his spine hit the trunk of a tree, and exhaled nervously.

The fight didn't last more than a minute.

The figure pinning Hoody down was fast and ruthless. His punches were meant to maim...Jay flinched at a particularly hard one. He didn't move, though. Didn't say a word. Jay realized he could care less about his attacker's life but...he did fear for the other's. He felt a strange warmth for the other, the one that had rescued him. Jay thought, for a fleeting moment, that he may truly like him.

Jay chuckled darkly. How messed up was he?

Wide brown eyes turned upwards when they realized Hoody's struggles had ceased. Masky, the figure that had leapt in to save him, sat over the body for a while. Jay gazed at him, the void in his chest fluttering prettily. He watched as his savior rose steadily, gloved hands lax at their sides. The masked face turned towards Jay, and the shoulders relaxed visibly. Jay felt an unexpected warmth fill his void, like warm sugar coating all of his insides. He gazed into the pits of the mask, and smiled. It was small, and lasted only for a second, but it was a smile. Jay registered his own expression with wonder. How long had it been since he'd last smiled? He couldn't remember.

Masky walked over to Jay, who was still shirtless, slouching slightly with his back against a tree. Jeans pulled almost all the way up, but with the fly unzipped. Masky felt something stir inside of him. He crouched low, getting closer. He looked at the little dew drops sprinkling Jay's chest and face. Brown eyes huge, lost in the black holes of his mask. Eyelashes sticking together in some places. Masky brushed a finger over them, watching the dusting of pink across Jay's cheeks grow darker. Hand on one cheek, Masky felt his face draw closer to Jay's.

He knew that what he was doing was punishable. After all, he was fighting the Operator. Fighting himself. Fighting the mask.

Yet he needed to put the writhing darkness inside of him to sleep - for Jay.

It was hard.

He could feel thin cracks form, feel the light pushing up through them. Yet the power the Operator held over him was still strong, and seemed to be growing stronger.

But he could not afford to lose. He could feel Tim fighting alongside him. He would win against the void that was starving them all.

Jay exhaled softly as Masky nuzzled the crook of his neck. In the gray silence of the woods, mist fading now just a little, he could hear the other man's shallow breathing. The cavity in his chest began to ripple, and the urge to simply _feel_ was suddenly inexorable. He grabbed Masky's jacket collar with one hand and tugged to pull him upwards, until the hollow eyes of the mask were level with his own. His other hand slid carefully upwards, curling gently around the rim of the mask. A moment passed between them, the darkness heaving in its death throes - voids pulsing, heart beats uneven and oh so rapid. Then, with wordless consent, Jay carefully pried the mask away from the face. Heart shuddering, the mask fell onto the dew-soaked grass. They were shaking ( _god they were both shuddering nonstop)_ at the truth and the reality and the potential of it all falling apart at any moment. Jay hardly felt his hands moving to thread through Tim's hair and pull him forwards, lips finally - _finally_ \- meeting in a kiss that was so _stuffed_ with promise and love and dirt and hate and masks and tapes and pills and fire that they nearly flew apart at the touch.

But it was so good that neither of them stopped.

It was soft and sweet and so lovely at first. Tim pressed into the kiss, willing Jay to part his lips _(oh, please!)_ just a little, sliding his hands over the bare skin still speckled with drops of dew. Jay complied, with just a whisper of space, enough to let their breath mingle for a split second before Tim let his tongue slide in. And then it was not tentative. Tim took what he wanted from Jay, licking everywhere and anywhere he could. He bit gently down on the smaller man's lip, earning a pleasured moan that sent little shivers down his spine. Jay wound his fingers roughly into Tim's hair, emitting pitiful noises whenever he had sufficient oxygen. His tongue shifted shyly against Tim's, and Tim let out a muffled moan of appreciation. Tim tasted like sweet tobacco, and Jay liked it. Jay tasted like warm apple cider, and Tim loved it.

They were both gasping heavily as the kiss was broken, their tongues untangling slowly. Tim's eyes never left Jay's for a second. They smoldered with want. Jay tried his best not to look as though he was blushing beet-red. But he realized, that for what felt like the first time in his life, Jay was truly needed by another human being. His heart filled with liquid gold, so hot it almost burned, and he wasn't sure if it was a teardrop or a bead of water that slid down his cheek.

"Tim!" He rasped loudly, suddenly, pushing his face into the bigger man's chest. His body shook in dry sobs of happiness. He was going crazy. Jay was so happy he was actually laughing, clutching Tim's jacket as though he were about to fall to pieces. "Tim...I....I -"

Tim cut Jay's blubbering off with a rough kiss on the lips. He lifted up the camera man's chin, and smiled into the shimmering brown eyes.

"Yeah," he said, sifting a gloved hand through the sandy brown locks. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, unexpected fluff. Surprise. Enjoy it though, for the calm lasts only a little while before the true storm approaches...
> 
> Also I forgot my original title for this chapter so oops it might change later.


	9. Sweet Coughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Jay hit the road. Basically.

Tim drew Jay in for another kiss. His tongue lazily invaded the warm mouth, taking his time. He sucked at the other man's bottom lip, nipped gently when he heard a heated whimper. He slid his palms up Jay's bare chest and rubbed at the slender collarbones. He let the smaller man's mouth go, delighting in the way Jay hung his head back, panting - letting himself be touched.

Then Tim froze. He shot a nervous glance over his shoulder and stared at Hoody's body.

He had almost forgotten that they were still in danger.

Tim regarded the small, panting body before him and sighed. There was no way he was going to let Jay be attacked again. They had to move now. He nudged Jay regretfully, one hand still splayed out over his left pectoral. He felt the heart beating there. Like a rabbit's. Rapidly.

 _Mmh_.

"Tim?" Jay's eyes were bleary as he tried to sit up. His breathing was shallow. "What is it?"

"We have to leave now, Jay." Tim wished he was speaking with the urgency to leave. But his voice was still low and hindered by lust. Shit. He just wanted to touch Jay. Kiss him. Take him. His own chest was heaving as Jay started to lift himself up, pants still almost halfway down his thighs. The slightly flustered man wobbled as he stood up.

"O-okay yeah. You're right, who knows what else could happen."

"Let's go, the car is in the parking lot."

"Um, okay. T-this is a weird question, but did you drive here with the mask on?"

Tim hesitated.

"I don't know," is the answer he finally grumbled out. He didn't want to think about it. Not now, at least. "Let's go. Car. Now."

"...yeah."

Tim got up, waiting for Jay to peel several blades of grass off of his sides and stomach. Tim watched the man struggle with his pants, breath catching in his throat as he watched the lithe form twist in effort. Jay caught him staring, and blushed deeply. Tim winced. This was definitely not good. His blood was definitely still rushing south and there was nothing he could do about it. He would have to try and ignore it for now, he supposed.

They hurried to the car, which shimmered dimly in the wet haze. Jay tossed his soaked shirt in the trunk and climbed into the back seat, shutting the door with a spray of droplets.

Tim looked down at his jacket for a moment. The wet leather was sticking to his skin and making him uncomfortable, so he unzipped it and threw it in the back with Jay's. He walked around the side of the car and hopped into the driver's seat, combing a hand through his own disheveled hair.

Tim started the car, sneaking occasional glances into the back seat.

As they drove, it was silent. Perfectly silent except for the few moments when Jay would rustle around uncomfortably in the back seat. Adjusting his pants to better accommodate his arousal, perhaps. Tim wanted to stop driving and pull over and make Jay  _beg_  for it. Some part of him was still itching to take control - but he had to stay focused.  _Safety_. As soon as they found somewhere to stay they could do whatever they wanted.

Jay cleared his throat.

"Where are we going?"

"I dunno. I haven't really planned that far."

"It doesn't really seem like there's much out here..."

"Yeah, I know. Well, if worst comes to worst we could just sleep in the car. Won't be comfortable but hey."

"Oh, uh, y-yeah. That sounds good."

Tim couldn't read Jay's expression when he glanced in the rearview mirror. His head was bowed and his hands were balled at his sides.

"Jay are you okay?"

"I -"

The small body began to shudder, and convulsed as Jay began to cough. A hand flew up to his face in an attempt to muffle the sounds, face screwing up in discomfort. Tim was about to ask if he was alright, but Jay's coughing became more violent, and Tim panicked at the sudden sight of red flecks on his friend's hand.

"Shit, hold on Jay -"

Tim pulled over and vaulted over his seat. His hands were on Jay's shoulders in a second, squeezing to try and subdue the shaking body.

"C'mon Jay," Tim urged, sliding his hands upwards to cradle Jay's head. He tried to soothe the camera man with chocolate-syrup words. "Shhh, it's alright. You're gonna be okay..."

Jay's body heaved in effort, but the coughs slowly subsided. Tim watched with horror as Jay pulled a bloodied hand away from his mouth. He choked on his words. How long had this been happening? Had Jay been suffering like this - all alone - for a long time? Tim felt a pang of worry wrack his heart. Jay's eyes were wide and watery when they looked up into Tim's.

"Tim..." Jay's voice was like a plea, cracked and soft. He crumpled in Tim's arms, and Tim held him tightly to his chest, watching the thin chest shudder with residual spasms.

"I'm so sorry, Jay," Tim said, hands moving up and down Jay's back in a comforting motion. "So sorry I left you..."

Jay let a small, broken sigh leave his mouth as he leaned into Tim's warm body. The large hands stroking his back felt so good. He missed this contact. He missed being close to Tim. Touching Tim. Jay splayed his hands out over Tim's torso, weakly massaging the bare flesh, leaving light red hand-prints where he touched. He felt the muscles there tense momentarily. Jay exhaled shakily as he felt Tim slide his hands up to his neck, where they caressed gently before slipping back down to tend to his sides.

"Jay..."

The former proxy tried his best not to lose control while Jay was slumped messily in his lap. He let his fingers massage the other man's ribs, digging in just slightly, savoring the slight pink that fell in a hush over Jay's cheeks. Jay breathed against Tim's chest, flinching slightly when Tim's fingers brushed over his nipples. They hardened to little pink nubs that Tim teased with pleasure.

"Ah-"

A sweet note dropped from Jay's mouth and he bit his lip. Tim hummed in approval and nuzzled the top of Jay's head, inhaling his faintly sweet smell. It was delicate. He ran his fingers through the petal-soft hair  _(like old times)_  and rubbed the back of Jay's scalp. Jay moaned softly, a slight purr that buzzed Tim's nerves.

Tim pulled Jay up gently and brought their lips together. He could taste the blood on the camera man's lips. The kiss was so soft it felt like the brush of a feather.

"Maybe I should cough up blood more often," mused Jay breathily, as they pulled slightly apart.

"No way," Tim chuckled, and kissed Jay deeply.

The thud of Jay's heart must have been audible. The feeling of Tim's tongue slipping in and out of his mouth was electric. As far as he was concerned, he could keep doing this forever. Tim withdrew, and a thin trail of spit followed. Jay blushed darkly and rested his head on Tim's shoulder.

For a while, they simply breathed.

"It's dark out," said Tim finally, hands drifting across Jay's lower back. Ghosting across the tender skin that warmed sweetly to his touch.

"Are we sleeping like this?" Jay asked, a perfectly timed yawn escaping his lips.

"Only if you want."

"I think there's a blanket rolled up in back. We could...uhm...share it..." Jay's voice trailed off as he looked to his side.

"...yeah, I'd like that. I'll go get it."

Curled up in the back seat, the two were surrounded by warmth. The blanket was soft, and though there wasn't much room, they were comfortable. For the first time in countless months, Tim and Jay slept soundly.

They dreamt of honey-colored light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha so dorky. This chapter was sooooo fluffy. :'D


	10. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of contemplation in this chapter.
> 
> Tim and Jay try to be normal.
> 
> Darker things to come.

Jay and Tim drove until they were properly lost.

Not even road signs and maps could tell them where they were - or, at least, that's what they pretended. They felt safer when they didn't know where they were. Sort of. It would  _actually_  feel better if they were safe and sound at home - but home just didn't exist anymore. Not concretely anyways.

What they had left of home was each other; so, to each other, they were home.

Their faint sliver of hope was the theory that if  _they_  didn't know where they were, perhaps He didn't either. They clung to it with desperation. But again, it was just a sliver. A faint, fragile line of an emotion they had almost long forgotten. Eventually, it was bound to break.

The trip itself had been blissfully uneventful. They took shifts and stopped when necessary, refilling the gas tank and grabbing a bite to eat when they remembered to. Sometimes they would even take walks or see if there was anything useful to buy in the shops in town. Communication with other humans was still limited, but things were getting better. For the first time even, they had decided to rent a small apartment instead of a hotel room. It was much more decent, and less full of memories.

The situation - dare they say it - was slowly improving.

And as a result, Tim and Jay fell into a comfortable lapse with each other. They began to understand each other; recognizing emotions in themselves that they wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

Jay was getting to know the remnants of the weak child that swam beneath Tim's cracked guise. The kid that had been locked up and forced to battle the horrible demons that haunted him had been completely and utterly alone. He took medication that did nothing but temporarily numb the pain. He got better, only to have his world come crashing down all around him - time and time again. This child would come out when Tim was especially vulnerable.

Like the time back at the burned down hospital.

Tim was curled up in a ball and blaming himself for all of the world's problems, nearly sobbing into his hands with heart-wrenching realizations. And Jay was there, trying hopelessly to comfort, and for a second their gazes met - that's when they appeared. For a second, if not less. The sad, tortured eyes of a younger Tim. Eyes that had already witnessed things that Jay couldn't possibly force himself to imagine. Dark and somber and yearning so much for something tangible to hold onto.

Unable to foresee the events of the future. Unable to know that things were only going to get worse. That he would become a slave to the pills, to the mask, to the darkness - and to Him.

Jay recognized all of this now. That Tim's rough-hewn exterior was not as tough at it seemed. His friend - although they were closer than that now - was heavily broken. And now he didn't even know if he was able to fix him.

On the other hand, Tim had started noticing something in Jay. It was something akin to harsh resilience. Which was odd - Jay was frail. He seemed so delicate, so sickeningly fragile that Tim sometimes wondered if he wasn't just going to crumple to the ground and vanish into the air like several hundred paper cranes. But it was there. Jay was  _strong_. It was undeniable that the camera man had made some foolish decisions here and there, but he still persevered when the rest of them couldn't. He pushed on even after Tim had given up. After they all had given up. And now Tim regretted every harsh word he ever uttered in the face of his partner. He cringed when he remembered that night in the parking lot - when he had punched the other man square in the face. It was jarring to think about that now. But Jay was obviously much tougher than he was. He was more courageous, more clever, and more demanding than Tim was.

And so Tim realized just how dependant he was on the other man. At this point, he didn't think it was possible for his life to go on without him.

That's what it had all come down to, for the both of them, as they sat at the picnic table munching slowly on their sandwiches. Jay brushed a few crumbs off of his shirt and rested his head against his hand. Tim regarded Jay carefully as he finished his food and took a sip of water.

"What?" Jay asked the dark gaze. He fidgeted, anxious as always beneath the other man's stare.

"Nothing." A grin, then Tim tipped his head up to evaluate the cloudless blue sky. A deep breath out.

"We should do something."

Jay blushes, winding his fingers together.

"Oh yeah? Like w-what?"

Tim lowers his head and examines Jay's face - the slight quiver of lip and averted gaze. He leans over the table until his face becomes uncomfortably close to the other's.

"Have you always stuttered like this?" Tim knew just how to smile in these sorts of situations. It was a gut-wrenching, butterfly-inducing, mind-rending charm that only Tim could pull off. "Or is it just me?"

"Uhhh m-m-m -"

Jay emitted an unmanly noise as Tim placed short kiss on the bridge of his nose and ricocheted back into his seat.

"But anyways," he said as he yawned and flexed his arms. "I meant that we should do something  _normal_."

"N-normal?" Jay rubbed the side of his face sheepishly.

"Yeah. I mean eating food at a picnic table is sort of normal...but we should do something that we used to do."

 _Used to do._  Those words were painfully sensitive.

They ignored it.

"Ah, um, okay, what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. What is it that normal humans do again?"

They laughed sadly. Paused to think for a moment. Taking walks was all they had been doing as of late. Parks were definitely off-limits. They could go into town...

"Ah, why don't we get some coffee? I saw a nice little shop in town..."

Tim chuckled.

"It's way past one in the afternoon, Jay."

"Yeah, so? You wanted to do something normal! Getting coffee is pretty much the most normal thing I could think of."

A low chuckle as Tim rises from his seat and walks around the table. Jay feels the heat of Tim's body standing behind him. Tries not to squirm. Then the lovely sensation of the bigger man running his hands softly through his hair.  _Fuck_. He knew what this did to him.

The former proxy bent down so that he was flush against the smaller one's back, mouth just beside his ear.

" _You know_ ," Tim's voice fell to a warm hush. " _I would have you right now..._ "

Tim watched the involuntary arching of his friend's back and smiled, retracting his fingers.

 _But that's for another time_ , he thought.

"Coffee shop. Sounds like a great idea. Let's go."

Tim drew away from the camera man and sauntered off to the car, grinning.

Jay sat for a stupid while before he made a short noise of disappointment. He gathered up their belongings and headed back to the car. He fought away the blush that had spread across his face. For a different time, he supposed.

**OOO**

In trouble.

I am in trouble.

_Where - am - I?_

Ragged breath accompanied by spats of coughing. The worn down soles of shoes, chased far too many times. Beating down on the earth, and stumbling. Crude red cut outs not helping here. And near blindness as well - that was also there. Or not there. Lacking.

What am I lacking?

Who am I?

Where...is He?

_Right behind me._

All around me.

He is everywhere.

_He is inside me._

I am in trouble.

He'll find me -

\- because I cannot hide.

The soft scraping sound of material on concrete. Stops. Pauses. Then dread. Mislead, because this was not the correct way. Trapped. Cornered. The light on the other side IS. A. LIE.

I need to find it.

In time - I must be taken to it.

I must be lead totheark.

Or else it will be too late -

-  _the ark will leave without us_.

Blurs an colors and explosions of sound. A shoulder hits the ground first, chest in a screeching wail of pain. Static. He stands over him, so tall. Wracking him, coughs and sobs alike. A lucid moment perhaps. When the darkness leaves him be. This is not the last time or the first but he fears it anyways. He feels Him seeping into him and corrodes and leaves empty gaping holes that don't exist but do. He looks at his shaking hands and beg for them to disappear because that might just be better than being taken again.

All alone now.

I am all alone.

_ḃΰ† ᾗ⁰₮ fợṝ ᶅṑήḠ_

**OOO**

The coffee was, albeit a bit untimely, quite good.

Tim and Jay talked about the usual, which was not much at all. They usually tried to skirt around the more dangerous topics, but it never did any good to ignore elephant in the room. It was waiting. And they could feel it.

But for now it was just nervous gazes and hopeful thoughts because for once they weren't panicking or coughing or tortured by miscellaneous evils. Which, by the way -

"Did you ever, uh, get back to your doctor, Tim?"

Tim's eyes looked up from the rim of his cup. He set it down carefully.

"Um, not really, actually. After...y'know, everything...I guess I sort of lost touch."

Jay's brows knitted together in concern.

"But, is that just okay? I mean, are you -"

"I'm fine, Jay." The words weren't spoken with malice, but were firm all the same. Tim's gaze was stubborn. "Things don't need to change, alright? We're perfectly fine the way things are. I've been feeling a lot better."

"If you say so."

"No, I mean it! When was the last time either of us had a coughing fit?" Tim's eyes grew a little bit more excited.

Jay contemplated this.

"I mean I did, I guess, in the car."

"Exactly! That was  _weeks_  ago, Jay. Weeks. And have we been taking the pills?"

"Oh uh...I haven't. I thought you still were though. I haven't really seen any of the canisters around though -"

"I  _haven't_  Jay!" Tim's voice was raising itself just a bit. He then fell to a hush, fingers wrapping around his mug. "We're getting better."

They both fell silent, and acknowledged this preposition. Was it really true? Were they...free?

"R-really?"

Jay felt reassurance sweep into his heart. Tim's gaze softened sweetly, and it's warmth spilled out over everything. Jay thought that perhaps he could indeed fix Tim. And Tim, for a chance, was willing to learn how to become a little stronger. Things were suddenly very, very okay.

And they returned to the flat in exceptionally good moods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned folks. The end is maybe somewhat near.


End file.
